Grief Recovery: Losing Someone You Love

Losing someone or something you love is very painful.  After a significant loss, you may experience all kinds of difficult and surprising emotions, such as anger, guilt and shock.  Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up.  While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming they are normal reactions to loss.  Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.

What is Grief?

What is grief?  When we have emotional, physical and spiritual reactions in response to a death or loss, it is known as grief or grieving.  People who are grieving might:

• Have physical reactions, such as not sleeping or even waves of nausea.
• Feel strong emotions, such as sadness and anger.
• Have spiritual reactions to a death, such as questioning their beliefs and feeling disappointed in their religion while others find that they feel more strongly than ever about their truth.

The 8 Stages of Grief and Grief Recovery

The grieving process takes time and healing usually happens gradually.  The intensity of grief may be related to how sudden or predictable that loss was and how you felt about the person whom you have lost.

Some people write about grief happening in stages, but usually it feels more like waves or cycles of grief that come and go depending on what you are doing and if there are triggers for remembering the person who has died.

Stage 1 — Shock and Denial

Initially, emotions are profound, and denial may lead you to pretend the loss isn’t happening.

Stage 2 — Pain and Guilt

As shock fades, you will feel the pain of the loss and may experience guilt.

Stage 3 — Anger and Bargaining

Emotions intensify, and you may feel anger or try to negotiate with the situation.

Stage 4 — Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness

A period of sadness, introspection, and isolation.

Stage 5 — The Upward Turn

Gradual improvement in mood and coping.

Stage 6 — Reconstruction and Recovery

Adjusting to life without what was lost.

Stage 7 — Acceptance

Acknowledging the reality of the loss and finding a way forward

Stage 8 — Growth and Meaning

Finding personal growth and meaning from the experience of loss, and integrating it into one’s life in a positive way.

Types of Losses

If you have lost someone in your immediate family, such as a brother, sister or parent you may feel cheated out of the time you wanted to have with that person.  It can also feel hard to express your own grief when other family members are grieving, also.

Some people may hold back their own grief or avoid talking about the person who died because they worry that it may make a parent or other family member sad.  It is also natural to feel some guilt over a past argument or a difficult relationship with the person who died.

Coping with Loss: Navigating Grief in the Family

Grief does not follow a linear path. It is normal to experience a mix of emotions, including sadness, anger, and even moments of acceptance. Be patient with yourself and your family as insights are shared during this difficult time. Losing a family member, whether it is a parent, sibling, or other close relative, can be an emotionally intense experience. Shared Grief: When a family member passes away, everyone in the family is affected. Each person’s grief is unique, but it is essential to recognize that others are also grieving. Be open to sharing your feelings and listening to theirs.

1. Unresolved Emotions: Sometimes, we carry unresolved emotions related to the person who died. It could be guilt over past arguments, regrets about missed opportunities, or unexpressed love. Acknowledge these feelings and allow yourself to process them.
2. Supporting Each Other: While supporting grieving family members, remember that it is okay to express your own grief. Holding back emotions to protect others can be exhausting. Encourage open conversations about the person who passed away.
3. Honoring Memories: Celebrate the life of your loved one. Share stories, look at old photos, and reminisce. Honoring their memory helps keep their spirit alive within the family.
4. Different Coping Styles: Understand that family members cope differently. Some may want to talk about the person who died, while others might prefer silence. Respect each person’s approach and provide space for their unique grieving process.
5. Seeking Professional Help: If family dynamics become strained or overwhelming, consider seeking professional counseling such as Inspire ME.  A professional can guide the family through grief and help everyone find healthy ways to cope.

When Pets Die

Losing a beloved pet can be incredibly painful, and grieving is a natural part of the process. The death of a beloved pet can trigger strong feelings of grief as well.  People may be surprised by how painful this loss can be.  But the loving bonds we share with pets are real, and so are the feelings of loss and grief when they die.

Here are some steps to help you cope with the loss:

1. Acknowledge Your Grief: Give yourself permission to express your emotions. It is okay to cry and feel the sadness deeply.
2. Avoid Dwelling on Final Moments: Instead of replaying your pet’s last days, focus on the positive memories you shared together.
3. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. You do not have to face this alone.
4. Memorialize Your Pet: Consider creating a special memorial or ritual to honor your pet’s memory.

How long is the grieving process?

All of these feelings and reactions are acceptable, but what can people do to get through them?  How long does grief last?  Will things ever get back to normal?  And how will you go on without the person who has died?

Most important step of grief recovery

The simple most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people.  Even if you are not comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it is important to express them when you are grieving.  Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry.  Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone.  Connecting to others will help you heal.

Positive affirmations for loss of a loved one

Coping with the loss of a loved one can be incredibly challenging, and positive affirmations can provide emotional support during this difficult time. Affirmations cannot erase feelings of sadness and loneliness, but they can contribute to emotional resilience and help assist in the grieving process. 

1. Gratitude for Memories: “I think of my lost loved one with thankfulness.”
2. Comfort in Memories: “My memories comfort me more and more as the days pass.”
3. Trust in the Process: “Everything will make sense eventually.”
4. Universal Experience: “Both happiness and pain come to everyone.”
5. Normalizing Tears: “My tears are entirely normal and healthy.”
6. Daily Thankfulness: "I am thankful every day for my loved one."

Finding a Grief and Loss Therapist

Inspire ME, LLC (IME) understands that overcoming life challenges can profoundly impact individuals. We offer transformational therapy and resources to guide individuals through crises, remove obstacles to success, and empower them to direct their lives as they desire. From transformational therapy to self-mastery workshops, we offer virtual counseling to support all ages — individuals, children, young adults, couples, and families.